sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i think i have two assholes
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
