are you so shy because you have an std?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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