Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Randomize
