Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
