I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
this is an emotional support booty call
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
