apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
