So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
