I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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