Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Every concussion has its silver lining
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
