All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
