The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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