im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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