It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
you mean i was at the winter classic?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
