I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
