just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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