It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
