so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
