He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
