she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
