Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
im holly from the hills drunk
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
