Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
