The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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