I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
