I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
