I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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