I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
