this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
