I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
