i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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