You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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