My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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