dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
