did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
