Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
