grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
He felt like a one man threesome
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
