Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
