We named our party play list daddy issues
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
You're a waste of cheezeits
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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