I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
