Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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