Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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