So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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