I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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