also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Found your dick twin last night
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
