I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
