1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
