what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
