You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
