Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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