So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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