pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
