brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
