He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
